A Useless Run Down of Yesterday’s Games by John Turner

Maryland, Michigan State, and USC: Congrats to the three of you for being the only ranks teams that figured out how to lose. Although BYU is no slouch and likely will be ranked this week. 

The top 8 in the country all handled business in blowout fashion with Alabama playing the closest game with a final score 47-23 over SC. 

1: Trevor, his hair, and his weapons put up impressive numbers as usual and the defense provided 8 sacks. 

2: Tua threw for 444 and 5 TDs. Saban like Deez Nutz jokes.

3: Fromm and his backup went 26/32 for almost 400 while maintaining clean jerseys. 

4: LSU was simply too much for the Demons. Head man Ed Orgeron could be the voice of Megatron if football doesn’t pan out…

5: Jalen Hurts of Oklahoma had 289 by air and another 150 by land making his case for the Heisman chase. Chip Kelly and UCLA is now 0-3. 

6: Ohio State RBs Dobbins and Teague III ran the ball 32 times for 299 yards and 2 scores… that’ll typically get you the W.

7: Notre Dame QB Ian Book had 406 total yards and 6 TDs on the day. 7 different players scored TDs for the Fighting Irish.

8: Auburn had 3 running backs go over 100 yards on the day and a total of 467 on the ground. That’s quite frankly imposing your will on someone.

9: Florida stormed back, scoring 19 in the 4th quarter to up end Kentucky and give them their first loss on the year.

11: Good outing for the triplets of the Utes. QB Huntley, RB Moss, and WR Thompson put up solid numbers in a shutout win over  Idaho State.

12: Longhorns bounced back this week over Rice, winning all three phases. Ehlinger was impressive going 23/27 for 279 and 3TDs. Rice didn’t score till the 4th quarter.

13: Penn State and Pitt was a tough game. Pitt beat State in every aspect of the game except rushing yards where they were stoned like a Hatian dictator and of course, scoring points… thats important.

15: Ducks Herbert threw for 5 TDs spreading it around to 12 receivers on the day. They’ve been strong since dropping the opener.

16: Aggies weren’t really happy about losing last week apparently. They dropped a 60 burger on Lamar and dominated throughout.

17: Knights had too many weapons for Stanford yesterday. Gabriel threw 4 TDs to 4 different receivers. UCF goes to 3-0.

18: Michigan State fell to the now 3-0 Sun Devils. Penalties did the Spartans in despite putting up good numbers. 

19: Iowa came back late to beat the Cyclones. It was the 2 turnovers that made the difference in an otherwise low scoring shootout. 

21: Maryland was stuffed at the goal line 3 times yesterday. Three!!! After scoring over 140 points the 1st two weeks they fell victim to a trap game managing to only put up 17, while their drives fizzled out most of the day. That said, Temple played well for the 2nd week in a row.

22: They score some points on that blue field don’t they? Curtis Weaver added 4 sacks and and the Broncos are rolling…3-0

23: It was the Huskies early and often. Somebody forgot tell tell the Rainbow Warriors to watch out where the Huskies go because they got a good portion of yellow snow yesterday.

24: USC gets their 1st loss in over time against BYU. That makes two good wins in a row for the Cougars. Slovis threw 3 picks and with the loss they’ll likely find themselves out of this weeks rankings.

25: Florida State played a good game. Time of possession and penalties leaves a bit for the imagination, they gave up 21 to the Caveliers in the 4th and its tough to win a game doing that.

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