2022 Full NFL Predictions: Don’t Say I Didn’t Tell You So

-JohnTurner

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And now I give you all the picks of integrity. Each predicted outcome was perfectly brain crafted and molded to digital print by yours truly to simply expose the experts for what they typically are… WRONG!!! I’ve gone through every team schedule week by week, and then cross checked by going league wide week to week. After about a month of tinkering I have come to the conclusion, post current injuries and suspensions that I’m sure that after careful consideration, I’ll probably still ship it. However that’s what these useless prediction posts are all about though, right? They’re there so you can tell me how much crack you think I smoke, and I can deny said allegations until I’m proven stupid at the end of the season. I do feel like some of these will come to fruition though, so let’s just jump on in.

NFL

What we have here are full season standings with each games’ result to back them up. The playoff seeds are self explanatory. There were a few tie breakers, but the first criteria came down to conference record and ended there. As for season rewards such as MVP, OPOY, DPOY, COY, ROY, etc… well that’s more or less a popularity contest much like the Pro Bowl. If you take the team results, and assume a statistical expectation, you can arrive at a decent guesstimation. Or something like that. OK folks, here goes nothing… enjoy.

SportingNews

NFC EAST: Keep in mind this division as of now, on paper has the weakest schedule in the league. It wont help the Giants, but it’ll help the other three immensely. I think Ron Rivera would like to see it through in Washington and the Eagles are right on the cusp. I also don’t think either team can out score Dallas in more games than not from week to week.

DALTBLCINW@NYGWWSHW@LARL@PHIWDETWCHIWBYE@GBL@MINWNYGWINDWHOUW@JAXWPHIW@TENW@WSHL13-4
WSHJAXW@DETWPHIW@DALLTENW@CHIWGBL@INDLMIN@PHIL@HOUWATLW@NYGWBYENYGW@SFLCLELDALW11-6
PHI@DETWMINW@WSHLJAXW@ARILDALLBYEPITL@HOUWSHW@INDLGBLTENW@NYGW@CHIL@DALLNOWNYGW9-8
NYG@TENLCARLDALLCHIL@GBLBALL@JAXW@SEALBYEHOUWDETL@DALLWSHLPHIL@WSHL@MINLINDL@PHIL2-15
MensHealth

NFC NORTH: Until Aaron Rodgers retires he’s King of the North. Other than Tom Brady he’s been the most consistent player in the league the last 20 years. Detroit and Chicago get a little better, but I think the Vikings ship has sailed and they’re in for a rebuild… unfortunately they’ve guaranteed Kirk Cousins more money for two years so… delay of game on that.

GB@MINWCHIW@TBLNEWNYGWNYJW@WSHW@BUFL@DETWDALWTENL@PHIW@CHIWBYELARW@MIALMINWDETL12-5
DETPHILWSHL@MINWSEAW@NELBYE@DALLMIAWGBL@CHIW@NYGWBUFLJAXLMINW@NYJL@CARLCHIL@GBW7-10
CHISFL@GBLHOUL@NYGW@MINLWSHL@NEL@DALLMIALDETL@ATLW@NYJWGBLBYEPHIWBUFL@DETWMINW6-11
MINGBL@PHILDETL@NOLCHIW@MIALBYEARIW@WSHL@BUFLDALLNELNYJW@DETLINDLNYGW@GBL@CHIL4-13
MusketFire

NFC SOUTH: Tommy came back so that’s a wrap for the south. It wont even be close as all three of the other teams have more holes to fill than a whore house in Pattaya, Thailand. Bucs will likely have this in the bag by week 11 and may break whatever the record is for clinching their division the fastest of all time.

TB@DALW@NOWGBWKCWATLW@PITW@CARWBALWLARWSEAWBYE@CLELNOL@SFWCINW@ARILCARW@ATLW14-3
CARCLEW@NYGWNOLARILSFL@LARLTBL@ATLW@CINLATLW@BALLDENLBYE@SEALPITLDETW@TBL@NOW6-11
ATLNOW@LARL@SEALCLEW@TBLSFW@CINLCARLLACL@CARLCHIL@WSHLPITLBYE@NOW@BALLARILTBL4-13
NO@ATLLTBL@CARWMINWSEAWCINL@ARILLVLBALL@PITLLARL@SFL@TBWBYEATLL@CLEL@PHILCARL4-13
ArizonaSports

NFC WEST: Should be some dog fights in the west as everyone always gives the defending champs their best each week. The Cardinals can score and the 49ers are very resilient. Seattle is in rebuild mode, but I doubt Pete Carroll is laying down for anyone. I still think the Rams have just too much firepower to allow anyone but themselves take the division assuming Matt Stafford stays healthy.

LARBUFWATLW@ARIW@SFLDALWCARWBYESFW@TBLARIL@NOW@KCWSEAWLVL@GBWDENW@LACL@SEAW12-5
ARIKCL@LVLLARL@CARWPHIW@SEAWNOW@MINLSEAW@LARWSFWLACWBYENEL@DENLTBW@ATLW@SFL10-7
SF@CHIWSEAW@DENLLARW@CARW@ATLLKCL@LARLBYELACL@ARILNOWMIAWTBL@SEALWSHW@LVWARIW9-8
SEADENL@SFLATLW@DETL@NOLARIL@LACLNYGW@ARIL@TBLBYELVL@LARLCARWSFW@KCLNYJLLARL4-13
NFL

AFC EAST: Similar to the NFC West, there’s three teams that should remain in the hunt, and one that’s just a witness. The Bills are just a tough team to beat right now, and I believe barring some Belickickian witchcraft they should win this division running with New England in a close second. Miami will likely be in it till the final week or two. Jets gonna Jets, especially with Zach Wilson tearing his ACL.

BUF@LARLTENW@MIAW@BALWPITW@KCWBYEGBW@NYJWMINWCLEW@DETW@NEWNYJWMIAL@CHIW@CINLNEL13-4
NE@MIAL@PITWBALL@GBLDETW@CLEWCHIW@NYJWINDWBYENYJW@MINWBUFL@ARIW@LVLCINLMIAW@BUFW11-6
MIANEW@BALLBUFL@CINL@NYJWMINWPITL@DETL@CHIWCLELBYEHOUW@SFL@LACL@BUFWGBW@NELNYJW8-9
NYJBALW@CLEWCINL@PITLMIAL@GBL@DENLNELBUFLBYE@NELCHIL@MINL@BUFLDETWJAXW@SEAW@MIAL5-12
CBS

AFC NORTH:Bengals go as Joe goes. If he’s upright the north belongs to the Queen City. Baltimore is a box of chocolates and Pittsburgh will likely end on another non losing note yet just shy of the playoffs. As for the Browns… if Watson is getting an eight game suspension I see 1-7 or 2-6 at best in that stretch. Ironically after week eight they get their bye… coincidence or conspiracy?

CINPITW@DALL@NYJWMIAW@BALL@NOWATLW@CLEWCARWBYE@PITW@TENWKCWCLEL@TBL@NEWBUFWBALW13-4
BAL@NYJLMIAW@NEWBUFLCINW@NYGWCLEL@TBL@NOWBYECARW@JAXWDENL@PITL@CLELATLWPITW@CINL9-8
PIT@CINLNEL@CLEWNYJW@BUFLTBL@MIAW@PHIWBYENOWCINL@INDL@ATLWBALW@CARWLVL@BALLCLEW9-8
CLE@CARLNYJLPITL@ATLLLACLNEL@BALWCINLBYE@MIAW@BUFLTBW@HOUW@CINWBALWNOW@WSHW@PITL8-9
NFL

AFC SOUTH: I don’t really see any of these teams making some huge leap. I think they will all play scrappy football and split games with the average teams yet come up short the majority of times against the good teams. Houston and Jacksonville are definitely another year away and this might be the year that the wheels start to fall off the two great backs in Indy and in Tennessee.

IND@HOUW@JAXWKCLTENL@DENWJAXL@TENLWSHW@NEL@LVLPHIWPITW@DALLBYE@MINWLACW@NYGWHOUW10-7
TENNYGW@BUFLLVW@INDW@WSHLBYEINDW@HOUW@KCLDENW@GBWCINL@PHILJAXL@LACWHOUWDALL@JAXW10-7
JAX@WSHLINDL@LACL@PHILHOUW@INDWNYGLDENLLVL@KCLBYEBALL@DETW@TENWDALL@NYJL@HOUWTENL5-12
HOUINDL@DENW@CHIWLACL@JAXLBYE@LVLTENLPHIL@NYGLWSHL@MIALCLEL@DALLKCL@TENLJAXL@INDL2-15
YahooSports

AFC WEST: Finally we’ve arrived to what I believe is going to be an old school Wild West shootout all season. All four teams are capable of beating one another on any given Sunday. This is going to be a fantasy football fans’ and gamblers’ heaven. I think Josh McDaniel will come up with just enough fuckery to take the division but it’ll be close. KC losing Hill will be very clear by mid season. Does Russ have enough weapons to cook with? Will the Chargers stop choking? We shall see.

LV@LACWARIW@TENLDENW@KCLBYEHOUW@NOW@JAXWINDW@DENL@SEAWLACW@LARLNEW@PITWSFLKCL11-6
KC@ARIWLACW@INDW@TBLLVWBUFL@SFWBYETENWJAXW@LACLLARL@CINL@DENW@HOULSEAWDENL@LVW10-7
LACLVL@KCLJAXW@HOUW@CLEWDENWSEAWBYE@ATLW@SFWKCW@ARIL@LVLMIAWTENL@INDLLARW@DENL10-7
DEN@SEAWHOULSFW@LVLINDL@LACLNYJW@JAXWBYE@TENLLVW@CARW@BALWKCLARIW@LARL@KCWLACW10-7
Lineups

PLAYOFFS: Read em weep boys and girls. It’s simple bracketology. Trust the science. I think the Bengals or Bills could walk away with this thing finally. I don’t believe outside of the Vikings there is another franchise that has lost more Super Bowls without winning one. Both are due and I think one of them gets one this year. I think if Tom Brady loses this late again, he heads to Fox to cash the big checks from the booth. I think the Cowboys will do just enough to put their fans on suicide watch. I think the Raiders get knocked out in perfect Raiders fashion… some type of late call that goes against them. I think Aaron Rodgers loses without the chance of having the ball last. I think the Patriots start to resemble “next year’s team”. I think Washington will be just good enough to keep them from drafting an impact player… again. I think the Chiefs down the stretch may resemble a team that needs to beg Patrick Mahomes to restructure his contract. All in all it should be a relatively exciting season although I’ll actually be more content watching College football unfold, and seeing how the XFL takes shape through the draft and so forth. Either way, the NFL is still the king, and the cheese stands alone.

Wild CardDivisionalChampionshipSuper BowlLombardi
Cowboys(2)
49ers(7)
Cowboys(2)
Packers(3)
Redskins(5)Cowboys(2)
Rams(4)Buccaneers(1)
Rams(4)
Buccaneers(1)
Cardinals(6)
Packers(3)
Buccaneers(1)34
Bengals
Bengals(1)37
Bills(2)
Titans(7)
Bills(2)
Raiders(3)
Patriots(5)Bills(2)
Colts(4)Bengals(1)
Patriots(5)
Bengals(1)
Chiefs(6)
Raiders(3)

AWARDS:

MVP: Dak Prescott

NFL

DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Micah Parsons

InsideTheStar

OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Josh Allen

SportingNews

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Kenny Pickett

NFL

DEFENSIVE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Travon Walker

NFL

OFFENSIVE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Christian Watson

Packers

COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Chase Young

Doc’sSports

SUPER BOWL MVP: Joe Burrow

NFL

COACH OF THE YEAR: Todd Bowles

NFL

EXECUTIVE OF THE YEAR: Jason Wright

HogsHaven

Remember, it doesn’t matter what I think, so by all means I’d like to hear from you… It’s A Football World, We’re All Just Passing Through. Cheers!

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John Turner

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